finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
