My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
