The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
