Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
