For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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