It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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