if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
