i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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