It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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