we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
