my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
