how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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