Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i need some magic done to my vagina
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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