I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize