yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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