imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
