I forgot how hot balto sounded
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
