We're facebook friends in real life
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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