Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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