he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize