I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The uberlube is also flammable
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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