so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
