I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
