I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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