Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
