All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
