at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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