Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
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Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
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How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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