It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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