So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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