Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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