please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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