Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
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Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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