I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
