My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
