Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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