You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
