I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
