I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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