Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
