Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Couch. On fire.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
