does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
