i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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