it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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