Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
