help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
