Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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