Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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