nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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