I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
