A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I need a beard to bite.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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