either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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