yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
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I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
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I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia