I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.