i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
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I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
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Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".