I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.