Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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