ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
