Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
