capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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