Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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