Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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