I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
