when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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