Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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