Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
