I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
